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Evansville Becomes Ivansville

Evansville Tennessee, population 83, has changed it's name to Ivansville in honor of Ivan, the world famous rockstar. It's not a decision they took lightly.

“It would have stayed Evansville forever if it weren't for the bus crash,” explains Esther Lester, local farmer.

A mechanical failure on Ivan's touring bus resulted in a collision with a corn crib on the outskirts of the town. Although no-one was hurt, the crib was destroyed. Threats of lawsuits quickly turned into wild jubilation when the townsfolk found out that Ivan was on the bus. Evansville's mayor, William Lester, personally hosted Ivan for the night. To show his appreciation Ivan gave an impromptu acoustic concert for the townsfolk in Lester's barn. It must have been a good gig because early this morning the Evansville City Council unanimously voted to change the name of their town to Ivansville to eternally honor their guest.

“I always thought he was just an ordinary rockstar,” summed up Ester Lester. “Boy was I wrong! He really is the King of the Stars.”

-Tennessee Trumpet, March 26, 2008

100 Babies Named after RockStar

5:03am, March 3rd, 2008, Ivan Harrington of Little Rock Arkansas was born (7lb 5oz.). He is officially the 100th baby of 2008 to be named after the rock star Ivan in the United States alone. “From the moment I found out I was pregnant I decided I would name my baby Ivan if I had a boy and Ivanette if I had a girl,” explained Sharlene Harrington, the delighted mother.

Baby Ivan Harrington is the latest baby in a growing trend. Last year saw 264 babies named after the rock star. At the current rate of growth, that should at least double by the end of 2008. “It's an incredible phenomenon,” indicated Jared Strughart of the N.D.A.N. (National Department of American Names), “but I'm hardly surprised.”

When asked what he thinks about being a namesake for so many young Americans, Ivan summed it up perfectly by saying “Dig it.”

-Chicago Proclaim, March 3rd, 2008

Ivan Flees Paparazzi

It started with a piece of strudel and became a high speed chase along the German autobahn involving world famous rock star Ivan, 17 paparazzi, and driving speeds that would result in prison sentences anywhere in the world but Germany. The rock star was ambushed by a crowd of photographers as he tried to purchase some strudel pastry from a Munich bakery. He fled in his Lamboghini Superleggra for over an hour but was eventually cornered in a backstreet in Leipzig and was unwillingly photographed.

Editorial note:
Ivan in Liepzig We at the London Tribute despise the invasive, bullying tactics the paparazzi scum use and hope you as a reader will never stoop so low as to support their work. But if do, you are in luck! We are very pleased to inform you that we have managed, at great expense, to get hold of a photo from the above mentioned chase scene. Enjoy!

-London Tribute, February 15, 2008

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Ivan's Weekly Haiku

burning solo time
expectant crowd crescendo
crud I dropped my pick